Almost as bad, “What are you anxious about?”
Okay now see, this pisses me off. And I’m gonna start this off with, yes, I too suffer from panic attacks and anxiety attacks. Given, I am getting much better with them because I’m getting the proper help I need. But aside from that: this right here pisses me off. Because when I have my episodes, I never told anybody, and I never told anybody because I knew what it was like yo be in their shoes, I know what it’s like to sit next to a friend who’s trembling and sobbing and choking and hurting. And it is the worst feeling in the world. Because when someone says to you, “My anxiety is really bad today,” there is literally no way to console them. Because what can you say in a situation like that? “Okay.”? No. How about, “Well, I hope things get better.”? No. You try to console them. You sit next to them or across a screen from them, you listen, and what do you say? You say it’s gonna be okay. You tell them to calm down, to relax, to take deep breaths. Because in a situation like that, the best thing you can do for yourself is to take deep breaks and relax. And it helps when there’s another voice beside you helping that along. And what do you say when that isn’t quite enough? You talk about it. You ask what is wrong, what triggered it, what word or picture or phrase or object or feeling triggered it. Because that is incredibuably important, and what else can a person do to offer their console? Nothing. If you are going to tell a person what you’re feeling, be prepared for an unsure response. And that’s not a bad thing, either. Because I garuntee that you’ve been in the same position, unsure of how to tell someone you’re there to offer help. They will tell you to relax, they will ask what caused it, and sometimes you won’t be able to relax, sometimes you won’t be able to pinpoint what it was that triggered this anxiety, and that’s okay, too. Because the important part is that someone is trying to help, even if they can’t (which most of the time they know they can’t), and know that it IS going to be okay, eventually, and that that person is gonna be there with you, even if they don’t know exactly what they’re supposed to do. I don’t want people to read this and think it’s okay to push away someone who wants to help, even if they’re doing a terrible job at it. Because it’s okay if not everyone has all the answers all the time.